I woke up this morning with that huge smile on my face. And needless to say, I was happy. I was happy at the mere thought that there is a brand new day to look forward to, but what keeps me up the most is the fact that I’m wearing that familiar smile, the one I wore whenever I’m with you.
Sure, it may have seem like lifetimes ago since I last flashed that same smile but when it comes to you, I bet the feeling never grows old.
Wow. I can’t even believe that it had already been two years since we last shared the stage together to do a number. I don’t even want to dwell on the thinking right now as to why or who to blame in the process, we have already wasted too much time for that. All I know is that for those two years, I was contented to watch you from the little corners and see that part of me come to life whenever jaws drop while you’re on stage. There is not a single fraction of me that would disagree that indeed you were born for this. I could only deal with my nerves right now, it is as if I am re- acquainting myself with your presence. As the staff calls out my name signalling the start of the rehearsals, my heartbeat races. Sure, this would be just a fun-filled number with friends, but for me it meant something else. It may have been a brand new start for us as well. And this time, I will pay no attention to intrigues and all that hype, they will come to bother me some other time but now. I will shift my glances at you as though nobody else inside the dance studio existed but you and I.
I will be reunited with my kanto girl and for whatever its worth, I’ll give it my best shot, not to show off but just to let you know that yes, you still own that innate part of me even after all this time.
The rehearsals went well I suppose. Luis, Vhong and Billy were all kidding me about my giling dance steps which for me looked horrible and odd but I guess that was part of the whole ‘playtime’ thing. We’ve managed to say hi and all those casual gestures, I’m not one to expect anything beyond that. You looked great as usual. I can tell you’re far from being comfortable but I bet that was all I have to take. I would have wanted to talk to you more or offer you something to drink maybe but I don’t want to jump the gun further and make you feel more awkward than you already are.
As I stare at you from the sides, I wonder if you ever will smile at me again like you did before, will I ever be worthy for it again? I silently thought to myself. Will I ever stand a chance? I questioned myself over and over. And as desperate as it may sound, I’m not expecting but I’m hoping you’d still do maybe just not now, but I was thinking it wouldn’t cost you a lot really.
And to my own surprise, as I raise my gaze, I saw you smiling just in front of me. I didn’t even realize that I was the only one left at the now darkened dance studio and as my shadow walk along with yours for that short-lived moment, I held myself in a sigh. I am with you again and with the slightest of distance separating us I feel a sense of joy for I was not one to fear shadows for I know a ray of light is already nearby.
And by the next time who knows? You will not only be my kanto girl, for you will then be my ONLY girl… my ONLY ONE.
She drops the small notebook as she felt his hands around her waist.
“Bebe ko, I’m home.”, he softly whispered.
He was reminded of all those harsh times as he pick the notebook up. Those times when his glances were his only way of showing her what she really meant to him. He gathers up all his thoughts and puts them into writing in this same notebook which is only slightly larger than his own bare hand.
And these words to her was so precious that she does not even grow tired of reading them. As she cup his face with both her hands, she saw his glowing eyes staring back at her and as the night’s darkness slowly covered their entire room she giggled as she remarked:
“Kuma-kanto boy ka na naman!”